So much beauty

So..basically I'm still motivated like you could never believe. But being back home has helped it slow down a bit, or at least not be so out there. Friday was very rash and brave. But it was fine, all it was was some delicious pho & tutti frutti with a bestie. What's the harm in that? But let me rewind. Friday was, amazing. I guess we all need one of those days to be so embraced in the spirituality. I mean, when the sheikh freaking cries while praying for your brothers & sisters halfway around the world in a little strip called Gaza, you can't help but get a little emotional yourself. It was beautiful. However, it is a little sad that we need a tragedy to be able to come together as one. Tell me if I'm getting over emotional, because I'm a sucker for unity stories. Plus, I was PMSING and it was kinda gloomy, so maybe that added to it. But it was probably the most beautiful day of break. I cried a lot during break. Actually, only the last days. And not over stupid shit, either. Ain't that somethin'. 

Girls, I salute you. But then again, you've got support from the rents. It's harder when you don't. A lot harder. I knew I should have written my confession down. I just can't seem to argue vocally, but maybe a strongly written argument letter would have changed your mind? Doubt it. We're both stubborn as fuck. I'm sorry I yelled & insulted & was ungrateful. But you were making me so angry. What's the bigdeal? And now, you make me scared. Scared of them out there... when I thought we were all tolerant? Aren't we? Why is it any different when it comes to us? And it hurts that you think I'll be deshawniarb, couldn't you trust my judgement a little more? Which makes me a little less excited for college, b/c i know you won't be. Anyway, you haven't convinced me, you may have won the battle, but the war is mine. Or heck, why do we have to make this a fight anyway? God, all i can do now i just pray that the decision I'm making will please. God, please forgive me, give me strength, wisdom.