Weeds Out of Concrete

There are three themes that I'm absolutley fascinated with.
This is the first.

1. vulnerability: We are all, completely and utterly vulnerable. And we only realize it when hopeless breakdowns take us over to remind us that we are completely insignificant and give us a reality check. (I have an obsession with breakdowns. My favorite scenes in movies, in fact, are hospital scenes when the doctor comes out and you already know what he's gonna say and someone breaks down on their knees. Plus, props to you, Sally Field in Steel Magnolias). It's quite amazing. Just a month ago, i believed that the worst day of my life to that point had occurred. It was one downfall after another. Fight with brother, ticket, useless orientation, phone died, late home, worried them sick (almost went out to look for me), cassette got stuck in wheel. Imagine, that was what one of the most exhausting days that i could remember. One punch after another. And it all happened in the little town of Walnut! Imagine! It was really nothing. But it was enough to make me cry my eyes out in my car while I took the rain patting on my windows as a purification. It's amazing. I was miserable. And things could have been so much worse. Subhan'Allah. I prayed for forgiveness, for mercy, begged it wouldn't get worse, and thanked Him for giving me a reality check. I think we are graced with reality checks every once in a while for our own good. They sober us up, tell us that there's so much more to us than US. And I think the reason we have to have them in the back of our minds and not constantly live with such fear is because we have to have the blind confidence to pull us through. But that reality check should always influence our lives as a whole. I think I'm about to get another one soon. I'm frightened, but merciful and forgiving God knows.