Check it.

I fear failure. But, it's not really just failing. It's being okay with it. I mean, I have this image. This image of what I wanna do, where I wanna be, WHO I'm gonna be. It's not a totally different situation than what I'm in now, BUT it would be a significant change, and I think a very solid, consistent lifestyle that says a lot about me, iA. Right now, I have the intention, but it's not in action (intention>action>words), and if God has other plans for me, well, so be it, Allah swt knows best. But if I cause my own downfall, or just don't rise up, I'll be furious with myself, I will hate myself for settling for less. But I'm scared that I won't. That I'll be okay with not rising up, with the excuses. With knowing I could have been something more, but just never went for it. Why would I change so dramatically like that? I think it's because if I settle, then I know it was just a phase. Just another burst of passionate youth, another aspect to be obsessed about, and that's nothing to be taken seriously. There's no purpose there.