I would be highly influential. Almost manipulative. And you'd complain to me that you think I'm manipulating you. But I'd explain to you that if you weren't so insecure and had some sense of judgment you would be able to tell the difference and not succumb to this so called "manipulation". I wouldn't be afraid to hurt your feelings either. But only if you ask me my opinion. Otherwise, I'd just listen politely. I would not sympathize with you. I would not tell you everything is going to be okay. And then you'd be frustrated with my silence and ask, "Jasmine, say something!" And I'd tell you, "only if its the truth." "Ok Jazz, so...pour it on me." "Well, if you keep doing the things you're doing, nothing is going to get better. But you're just scared to change. You've always been." or some conversation along the lines. People would wonder why they bother coming to me anyway when all I do is make them re-evaluate their lives every time I talk to them. And yet they always come back. "I'm kind of afraid of you. You always say things I don't want to hear."
"Fool, you're not afraid of me. You're afraid of yourself. We lie to ourselves all the time and hide things from ourselves and pretend they're not there. We act so innocent and confused in this world when in reality we usually know exactly what's going on and exactly how to fix it, but we're too foolish to do anything about it. So we wonder where we went wrong and why this is happening and how to fix it. But we know the answer. We're just too damn scared to face it because making a move is probably going to be painful. But worth it in the long run."
That's why I would have a stone cold heart to never let anyone trample on my beliefs, values, or myself. I'd always be ready to fight. I'd never get tired. And you'd hate me. But you'd respect me. And I'd rather have that.
Perhaps in this life?
