Painful Realization

I can't believe its taken me this long to figure it out. Now I just need to let it out. I swear to God, 2 more years, you'll know what I'm all about. Understand? That's up to you. My job is to let it all out, and you do what you want with it. Fuck the fermentation.

Moss don't bite.

If you ever wanna take me on a road trip to the great outdoors, I would much appreciate if you took me to a temperate rain forest. There's one in Olympic, Washington. And yes, as a matter of fact, this did come from Environmental. But gosssh, isn't it beautiful? I think once I'm there I won't wanna come back to the fake ferns we've got everywhere. It reminds me of a fantasy world like Narnia or something. 

Anyway, back to reality, unfortunately. Not to sound unappreciative, but I think all these days off in November are seriously making me super lazy, and unmotivated (ta-da!). And I think I'll stay in my cruise mode until January starts. But you can't blame me, the holiday spirit is kicking in and I can't help it. Even though I don't even celebrate Christmas, but I salute ya'll for making it so spirited! I kind of don't want them all to end either, because after that there's not much to look forward to except all the abbreviated tests you can think of. My aunt's going to the Homeland in a week, and I'm suppper jealous. Oh, shoot, I was supposed to go over there today. I'm only jealous though because I'm excited to go there in three years. Not right now. And it's because hopefully by three years, I will have established myself as I truly want to be. 

DEC. 10: ringin the nose?!

Sunday?

Ahh, I wanna read (reread) HP 6. but i know once i do, i wont be able to put it down and i'll get all emotional and shitt during every climactic moment. I look forward for bedtime and shower time most nowadays. It's such a, how do you say, motivator? Yes, motivator that seems to be the theme of this month. All my motivation. I wonder when this phase will wear out? PLEASE, PLEASE don't be a phase. Please turn out to be all true or even better. I miss the homeland. Even though it doesn't seem like it. I really do, I can't wait to go back. I think it's because I'm putting my goals in terms of a span of three years. Stuff I want to accomplish by the time i go back. How much more literate I'll be, how much more educated I hope to be (oh, and if you ever used it against me, i'm firing back atchya fullllllll blast), the life changes they'll think are crazy, but admire. That's also some motivation. But I just hope it all turns out how I hope, and if not, I hope it's God's will and not my own faults. READING TIME! 

Save him, save him.

No, it's not being cynical. Actually, maybe it is. But there's nothing to be worried about. I'm just going through a phase. A phase that consists of 1) realizing 2) asking whywhywhywhy 3) getting angry at the excuses 4) accepting, but not supporting. But no worries, it's a phase, a very bitter, emotional phase. But a phase. Sometimes I wish it kind of wasn't though, because I think it makes me that much stronger and gives me motivation. Ya'll have fun, I'll be here, saving the world. Dang, if they only knew. I think they would appreciate so much more instead of criticize. Don't worry about me fellas, I'm completely fine, I know who I am and I know where I'm going. You just worry bout yourselves and pick up that trash. There are some real life changes coming your way, so look out. 

On a brighter note, winterrr! I love being a winter baby. I'm excited for gloomy days, mega-holiday sales, Victoria Gardens, new outerwear, and snow, ladies?